I have never been particularly good at photography, and yet now I find myself trying it for real. With a Flickr page and everything.
Ask me nice and I'll post the URL here.
I like night shots especially. Maybe because I find it easier to make night shots look good.
Sure is a lot of fun though.
Techstudent out
Tuesday, March 15, 2016
Sunday, March 6, 2016
Mistakes
We all make lots of mistakes.
Some are bigger than others. Some are so big that when you look back at your life your mind recoils in horror.
I had such a moment recently. I will not divulge the actual event here, just my thoughts on the matter.
It started gradually at first. Things started to bug me. Things from the past as well as the present.
I tried to deal with each negative thought one by one as it occurred to me. Then more would occur to me. Pretty soon my mind was a swirl of thought, a mixture of all the things in my life that gnaw at me.
The feeling when you finally identify the central cause of it all is, quite frankly, scary. Like a lightning storm in your mind.
Mistakes and flaws are funny. Seeing the mistakes of others is easier than spotting your own. In addition to that, listening to others point out your mistakes is even harder, and the instinct to mentally cover your ears is powerful. Doubly so if these others are very close to you. The result is that if you do finally wake up, sympathy is in short supply. And I realise now that this is rightly so. The people around you are not at fault, and for them to tell you that it was "not that bad" is the worst thing they can do for you at this point (it encourages fresh denial). The only thing you can ask them to do is to answer your questions honestly. "Was I an idiot?". "Yes, actually, you were".
The next thing to do is ask for open honest conversation. Allow the people you wronged to have their say. Listen, speak if you must, but do not try to defend yourself. It does not even matter if you think they are wrong. They believe what they believe due to your actions, and this alone makes them right. Listen to what they say, and be honest with yourself when they do.
And what follows then? Then, you place yourself in their hands, and in the hands of God. You ask for forgiveness. You let go of your fear. And then you wait. And once they have decided, you accept what comes your way.
Some are bigger than others. Some are so big that when you look back at your life your mind recoils in horror.
I had such a moment recently. I will not divulge the actual event here, just my thoughts on the matter.
It started gradually at first. Things started to bug me. Things from the past as well as the present.
I tried to deal with each negative thought one by one as it occurred to me. Then more would occur to me. Pretty soon my mind was a swirl of thought, a mixture of all the things in my life that gnaw at me.
The feeling when you finally identify the central cause of it all is, quite frankly, scary. Like a lightning storm in your mind.
Mistakes and flaws are funny. Seeing the mistakes of others is easier than spotting your own. In addition to that, listening to others point out your mistakes is even harder, and the instinct to mentally cover your ears is powerful. Doubly so if these others are very close to you. The result is that if you do finally wake up, sympathy is in short supply. And I realise now that this is rightly so. The people around you are not at fault, and for them to tell you that it was "not that bad" is the worst thing they can do for you at this point (it encourages fresh denial). The only thing you can ask them to do is to answer your questions honestly. "Was I an idiot?". "Yes, actually, you were".
The next thing to do is ask for open honest conversation. Allow the people you wronged to have their say. Listen, speak if you must, but do not try to defend yourself. It does not even matter if you think they are wrong. They believe what they believe due to your actions, and this alone makes them right. Listen to what they say, and be honest with yourself when they do.
And what follows then? Then, you place yourself in their hands, and in the hands of God. You ask for forgiveness. You let go of your fear. And then you wait. And once they have decided, you accept what comes your way.
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